Great Wall Of China To Be Repaired With Lead-Tainted Toys

Remember lifelong anxiety you've experienced, worrying about the crumbling of the Great Wall of China? Fret no more.

Now humanity's longest tribute to war-wrought paranoia be improving. It seems the enterprising communist nation has an abundant new supply of materials to rebuild it with: The millions of lead-loaded toys, bibs and other children's paraphernalia its cheapo manufacturers sent out to Mattel and other toy makers, appalling mothers by the millions.

But as Confucius said: "Toys made with lead paint the clock back to the factory."

Or with a more contemporary vein, "From China with lead" is being "back at you from America."

Even as you read this, it varicolored plastic overcome a tendency towards its eternal destiny, as ships laden with back Barbie Dolls, Mattel Cars, painted bibs and other infant delights steam against disgraced their country of origin.

Of course together, given the way cobblestone rocks have a way to return to their country of origin, especially with the steady help of enthusiastic vandals have the old monster has been falling apart almost since it began. In fact still today less than half of its 4000 miles journey rises above elevation zero.

And Mao, economic moron that he was not helping proceedings. He was unable to imagine the stone wonder of the world as anything other than a dispensable feudal curiosity, let alone a hot tourist attraction that can help plug its decrepit condition. So great swaths of it were torn down and transformed into functional accoutrements of his workers paradise, such as dams, roads and stone huts.

But now the new communist elite who receive more than enough resilient material to restore the full length of it.

Overturned as a kind of earth fill from toy land, the reconstructed Infinity will for the benefit of the state capitalists everywhere, becomes a greater wonder for tourists than ever. Imagine the colorful come-visit look of his new grandeur, compacted with a rainbow of plastic toys, which odd appendages and bumpers poke.

Should such an original way to rebuild the wall ever become an architectural reality and surefire outrage, what might have been The Great Fall of China may be elevated to an extended source of Latter-day Chinese prosperity.