How To Cope When You Are Surrounded By Idiots

Are idiots in your life run you insane? Do you feel as though you're surrounded by idiots? Have you ever wondered if YOU are an idiot? Make idiotic C.Y.A. instructions on the packaging for most products you buy these days make you feel like the world may think you are an idiot?

The following article contains lessons on stupidity. They cover things you should almost never do. There are many, many more lessons we could add, such as no floating face down in the septic tank or not applying your own tattoo with a wood stove and lead-based house paint, but these are normally material for a post-graduate course stupidity. You probably should not try to understand these high level concepts until you have mastered the more basic skills.

Experience has shown that the higher you shout principle of idiot pupil in doubt better that the procedure works. (OK, a little honesty here would probably be good. The truth is crying out the experience probably will not have much of an effect on the idiot, because as we all know he / she is an idiot, but it will probably make you feel slightly better).

Here are a few suggestions that could change your life if you are someone who is fighting with the idiots in your life. If you are an idiot, try to find someone to read these principles to you and then apply them. If you're surrounded by idiots, or if you have a loved one who has idiotic tendencies, you'll probably want to teach these principles to the idiots in your life. You never know. It can only help.

1st You should never try and lick the bottom of the blender while the blades still turn.

2nd Never drink Potter vinegar while eating boxes of baking soda.

3rd Never clean up nitro-glycerin or unstable nuclear waste with a vacuum cleaner.

4th Never let friends hit you over the head with a baseball bat, unless you're wearing a good helmet.

5th Never adjust your TV antenna during a storm relief.

6th You should not smoke while siphoning gasoline.

7th Do not microwave dynamite.

8th Never dry your hair with a blow torch.

9th Never pick your scabs while swimming with sharks.

10th Never hang glide during a hurricane.