Healing Emotional Dependency

You are emotionally dependent when your happiness, sense of security and sense of value is dependent upon others for love, attention and approval.

When you grew up, maybe you've heard statements like:

"What will the neighbors think?"

"What will__ (such and such) __think if you do it?"

Did you learn what others think about you questions? That you are okay if you are approved by, and is okay if you do not? Was your worth tied to your results - such as your grades or sports? Did you learn to define your worth outside of your performance or your appearance?

Most people have been brought up to believe that others are responsible for defining their worth, and the media certainly play in this, which means that if you buy this car or that product, you will get the approval that defines you as worthy. The media itself implies that the product itself or otherwise improve your worth.

This is a tough way to live, you have to constantly prove yourself. And what happens to your happiness, security and sense of worth when you get old and lose your looks, or you lose your money in a down market? What happens to your worth if you are gaining weight or never make it financially? Does this mean that you have no value as a human being?

There are two important decisions you need to do to heal from emotional dependence:

1. You have to decide to learn to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings - your happiness and pain, your inner sense of security, and your sense of worth.

2. You have to decide to define your worth - not by what others think about yourself or your appearance or how much money you have but by how well you love and what you contribute.

TAKE 100% responsibility for your feelings

Take responsibility for your feelings means you are aware of how to create your own feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger and fear at what you tell yourself and how you treat yourself. This means that you discover how you can abandon yourself to condemn yourself to ignore your feelings, turned to addiction, and make others responsible for you. This means that you learn to love yourself instead of continuing to abandon yourself. Inner Bonding process is a powerful process of learning to love yourself.

Take responsibility for your feelings means that you are kind and gentle with yourself with the painful feelings of life - the heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, sadness and sorrow in life. This means that instead to avoid these feelings by trying to control others or by turning to various addictions, to take them with deep compassion, allowing himself to feel them and allows them to move through you and be released, and stay open to what these feelings tell you about others, and events.

DEFINITION your worth

Takes responsibility for defining your own worth means to decide to define your worth internally - your kindness, caring, compassion, and contribution to others - rather than by approval, appearance and performance. This means that rather than trying to get love, you are loving to yourself and others, your highest priority. This means that instead of defining your worth by how thin you are or how much sex you have, or the clothes you wear or the car you drive or the house you live in or how many money you have, you define your worth as your kindness towards yourself and others by what you contribute towards helping others with your generosity, your ability to love without obligation.

In order to truly love others, you must first learn to love yourself - to take emotional responsibility for all of your own feelings. This is what Inner Bonding process is about.