Heartbreak

Celine, an only child, was 7 years old, her mother died tragically in a car accident. She and her father were destroyed. But unlike so many of my clients who have lost parents, and there were none of them, Celine's dad was totally there for her, even when dealing with her own grief and heartache. Celine could call him anytime at work and he would talk to her or come home to lovingly hold her. Because he was so complete that for her, her feelings of grief, heartbreak, sorrow and grief are not stuck in her body. Each time they came up, they were released because of the caring, compassion, tenderness, gentleness, respect and understanding for her loving father.

As a result of her father's love, Celina has not develop fear of intimacy and loss that so many people are experiencing due to the loss of parents. She did not close her heart to protect itself against future losses.

However, most of us do not have loving parents to help us move through the heartbreaks of childhood. Actually we had many parents who caused much of the heartbreak of various forms of abuse. We needed to numb out and find protection / abuse problems to manage heartache and loneliness of rejection, abuse and loss. As a result, the pain got settled in our bodies, both physical and psychological damage.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGES

Without a loving parent as Celina’s dad, we had no choice but to learn how to alleviate pain. You may have learned to use food, drugs or alcohol at a young age. Maybe you became addicted to television, computer games, representative space, fantasy or guarding. You may have learned to stay focused in your mind instead of your body, and to live in the past or the future rather than in the present. In one way or another, you learned how to disconnect your deeper feelings of heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, helplessness in relation to others, sorrow and grief, because you do not have the ability to handle these very painful feelings in any other way.

But dependence and internal disruption cause other problems - the loss of a sense of self, low self-esteem, fear of rejection and engulfment. The more you disconnect from your emotions, the more you are dependent on others' approval and acceptance. This leads to relationship problems and addictive behaviors. The result is living with anxiety, depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, and / or shame.

Childhood heartbreak is enormous destructive effects that need to be healed as adults. Now we can go back and learn to give ourselves, what did not get as children - compassion, care, tenderness, gentleness and understanding - and cure many of the emotional damage. We can learn to cope with the deeply painful feelings that we could not control the children.

Physical damage

When children are physically and / or sexually abused, the energy it takes to survive has led to an enormous amount of stress in the physical body. When stressed, your body goes into flight or fight, which means that blood leaves the body, brain and immune system and goes into the arms and legs to fight or flee. But when we can not fight or flee, we freeze, causing blood to stay solid in our arms and legs. This gradually deplete the immune system that prepares the ground for disease. Very current disease is the result of childhood abuse.

While we currently can eat well, get enough exercise, and heal the emotional stress and sometimes physical damage is very challenging. It is not easy to heal the years of damage caused by the stress of abuse. It is very important for you to not judge yourself for the diseases you may be suffering, which started as a child being abused or suffering from unbearable losses.

Today, you must be gentle with yourself. Judging yourself for the emotional and physical damage of heartbreak only causes more heartache. Instead, you must be a deeply caring, tender and gentle with yourself, consistently providing the love and acceptance to yourself that you have not received as a child. This is what heals.