U. S. Seniors Retiring To Iraq

U.S. senior citizens, noting President Bush's new budget, which calls for billions to be spent in Iraq while billions are cut from Medicare, are foregoing traditional retirement destinations like Florida and Arizona and chose Iraq.

The numbers reflect a convincing coincidence. Bush's budget calls for 100 billion dollars more for Iraq and $ 100 billion in Medicare cuts.

Under the new retirement trend, we went to Kennedy Airport and caught up with some seniors who were booked for Baghdad.

"Excuse me," I asked a group of seniors who just stepped out of the bus in front of Saudi Arabian Airlines. "I understand that you are going to Iraq?"

"It is true that" a man in Bermuda shorts replied, and reached into his golf bag. He took a header in the usual way Mullah. "Got my black turban right here. You know what they say? While in Baghdad, do as the Iraqis do."

"And I have my black burke," his wife added, lifting it from her purse. She slipped it over his head and modeled it. "What do you think?"

"Very sweet," I replied. "You fit right into Can you explain why you chose to retire in Iraq instead of, say, Miami?"

"Simple, son," a man with a fishing rod, which happen to be wearing a baseball cap on top of his turban, said: "It is here that the Medicare money is."

"Not to mention social security," his wife commented.

"The plain fact is that we prefer to eat in Iraq than starve in America," another man added.

"But are not you concerned about security?" I asked.

"Obviously, we are," answered the man in Bermuda. "But we're in this for the long term, and the way things are going, we can hardly count on Medicare and Social Security in America."

"We've got to follow the food," another elderly gentleman stated.

"But you could get blown up?" I have proposed.

"Oh, we thought that" the man with baseball hats on top of his turban replied. "We will just have to take our chances."

"Never underestimate the power of a senior," a frail man said, lifting his hand. "Have you not read about the 70-year-old guy who broke neck kid who tried to rob a busload of seniors?"

"Yes, I've noticed that event," I said.

"He was a war vet," one of the women told me with evident pride.

"Yep, of an American war or other," one senior told with a sigh. "A lot to choose from."

"What about suicide bombers?" I dare ask.

"Bring me, son," said the frail elderly, provided that the location of a boxer with his dukes up.

"But if you do not forget that most of the money earmarked for Iraqi military activity?" I asked.

"We go to rebuilding money," the man in Bermuda said. "They're wasting billions. And we figure we can get in the way of any of it."

"And what do you think will happen when Americans see millions of seniors, retired people in Iraq? They can not just let us starve there, can they?"

"Congress will have to divvy up something for us, and it is more than they probably do if we stay in America."

"And anything is better than nothing," one woman confirmed.

"But what about the culture gap?" I asked. "Are not you a little in your ways?"

"Yes, we are," one of the men confessed.

"I can see that turban. Do you have plans to become a Muslim?"

"Whatever it takes to get in the way of some money," the man insisted.

"We've thought about it," his wife interjected. "And the Muslim is better than not afford medical care."

"Or are starving for what remains of social security," another woman added.

"Do you enjoy the usual retirement age is, like golf and fishing?" I asked.

"No problem," the man with the golf bag said. "Iraq may not have the best golf courses, but I can see that there are plenty of desert for the sand traps."

"I've noticed a river runs through Baghdad," the man with fishing rod said. "Got to be something in it besides body parts."

"What about you?" I asked a woman with a tennis racket.

"I have not seen any tennis courts there," she admitted, "but some of the sand should be hard enough for the ball to bounce."

"What about a net?" I asked.

"I think there will be some sacrifices," she replied, and looked around at the crowd. "But I know one thing. I would not have far to look for someone to play with."

"I put my racket," another woman called.

"And if worse comes to worse," her husband advised her, "you can teach an Iraqi how to play."

"Excuse us, son," one of the men said. "We have to move along now. Can not miss our plane."

"We are on the way to Baghdad!" His wife almost singing.

"OK," I replied. "Thanks for the interview. And enjoy your retirement."