My Family Is Me I Am My Family

When the family is a system that everyone's behavior affects and is affected by each and every one elses conduct. Much to the painful surprise for some parents, their children show what they do not know or recognize in themselves.

Children can take over from their parents what had suppressed deep in the unconscious or expressed only in complex, neurotic ways. This is what is most feared - that the child would expose the parents fault, forcing them to defend against, what they feel to be obvious accusations. Indeed, children who bring out the worst in their parents! The Austrian poet Wildman’s addressing his newborn son, summed it by saying our judge you can be - you are he already.

The behavior of one member of the family, often it is a child who is identified as a patient and brought to guidance, psychotherapy, etc., can be understood as manifesting one or all of the following:

1st His symptoms may reflect the psychopathy of the family;

2nd His behavior can create family stability;

3rd Being sick, he can be a healer of a family disorder, or

4th He is the epitome of the current growth potential in the group.

In somewhat simplified form, the family can themselves be seen in the following framework:

1st Stable, satisfactory conditions "

All parties expressly reach an understanding of each other and their own roles and functions. Actually, this can be offered as the ideal family that spouses form a coalition as members of the custody generation to maintain their respective gender related roles and are able to transfer instrumentally useful and satisfactory ways to customize fit the society they live . This stability is unshaken by the slings and arrows that we all are subject, but rather is utilized to solve such problems.

2nd Unstable, satisfactory "

This differs only in the length of periods of relative instability - for example, during economic crisis, normal young rebel of the children, or newlyweds first struggling to achieve and create stability. Nevertheless, reasonable expectations for meaningful behavior occurs, and the experience will be useful to continue building a healthy relationship.

3rd Unstable, unsatisfactory "

There are no explicit or implicit agreement on roles in the relationship. Interactions be characterized by helpless maneuvers and great attention to superficialities. This is the most frequently seen type, and the members of such entity represents a paradox of not being able to live with or without family. Chaos, apparently without relief, reigns supreme.

4th Stable, unsatisfactory "

Here, the parties have agreed never to make any question about who can function and perform a role, not the dry signal dissatisfaction or recognize such signals. As parents, these people rarely come to psychiatric attention - but their children probably do! This constellation is the most difficult to reach, the rule being that no one should comment on the nature of the other behaviors.

A major example can help clarify and emphasize this.

Jackson city, during a session with a hospitalized young man's brother, mother and father, brother cautiously and tenderly volunteered the suggestion that perhaps his mother was a bit overly critical of patient. For the first time. Father, ever so gently, ending in agreement with brother It happened in the late hours, and the mother seemed to accept what was said. The therapist has no comment.

By next morning, had the mother rushed to the hospital because of an acute gall bladder attack, although she had no previous history of such problems. When she was discharged, his father suffered a coronary occlusion and was hospitalized. During this period, had the little boy who had a previous excellent driving record, three auto accidents where he ran into the rear of cars.

There are three major theories, all of which lies within a broad psychoanalytic framework to help understand, explain and approaching the origin of stresses that produce symptoms in children.

Bate son and staff have observed a fundamental communication problem that they have described as the double bind. Stop and think a moment of the order, I ordered you to obey me. Punishment based on the premise that there is no escape from such messages; follow all directions child can find. Repeated exposure to this double bind causing the individual to overcome his reply of any intelligible meaning, that is, to escape becoming insane. This results in a loss of ability to distinguish the true meaning of its own and others' messages, which continues in all interpersonal relationships.

Lads and his group emphasize age sex disjunction in parents, resulting in undesirable interactions between parent and child. Parental Control response not only to external reality problems, but also to internal tensions in the normal development of their children, there will be a dummy child able to distinguish between recrudescence of old conflicts from the current reality. In other words, The child adapts to his family from learning such inappropriate behavior Because normal psychosexual development stages of the child produce immature parents reactions, stress becomes particularly evident in the normal adolescents tumultuous psychological growth when the child has not only ideas but also the necessary physiological equipment to act. The threat thus created for parents to leave the baby with only the choice of psychiatric symptoms as a way out.

Wines group views appropriate and healthy ego function which not only requires a stable and consistent environment, but also an opportunity to test and select a variety of roles as part of its own identity within the development. This freedom of role-taking is blocked in a child who develops symptoms, and in addition, the freezing takes place in an unstable environment.