RELATIONSHIPS

INTRODUCTION

Don `t we all come to this world as customers, constantly striving to find the golden rule for a successful report of all and everything we come across? From birth to death a person `s success or failure is measured by the kind of relationship he / she has had with the elements of this world: people. Natural and beyond it all, the spirit behind this "relative world." But finding the right chord in a relationship, which often proves a hard nut to crack.

World seems to constantly echo with a disturbing chorus of voices that are the result of frustrated relationships between parents and their children, men and wives, friends, siblings, in-laws, employees and colleagues, individuals disillusioned with himself for not being able to to relate successfully to their environment.

The most interesting aspect of this scenario is that today happens to be no shortage of ways to reach that elusive "success" in the act of legislation.

Couples

The phenomenal flux of change in all areas of our lives since the last century has redefined the role of human relationships. Social revolutions, such as women `s lib, the cult of the individual, and even the human potential movement has repatterned fundamental assumptions relationships. A good relationship today is not one that just contains but one that coexists with self-respect, individuality and the need to grow.

For it to thrive on success, marriage counselors and psychologists also emphasize the need for this kind of "space" within a couple `s relationship. A person in a marriage Should `t be a repository for an` s own needs and wants, in reality both the persons involved must be fully committed to their relationship. They must be ready to take responsibility for themselves as well as the relationship.

How to Make Relationships Work

• Don `t try too hard to convince the other person in your love. Love and trust yourself more. This will relax your love defense and allows you to give yourself totally to the relationship.

• Don `t question the other person` s love all the time.

• Feel the unity of universe.Step beyond the 'me first' conflicts, marketed in relationships. This will help you to be complete within yourself.

• Don `t use your relationship to meet your expectations.

• Know yourself. Analyze the cause of your reactions.

• Acknowledge the other person as an individual. Grow and let grow.

• In a conflicting situation, see where you went wrong rather than how the other person failed. Listen to each other. Communications strengthens the foundation for a relationship.

• Take the first step in the development of a relationship without worrying about who is in the right. Don `t depend on any person and don` t let the other person depends on you.

Parenting

One of life `s greatest achievement is to grow and let your seeds grow. Nothing in life is more satisfying than to watch your child blossom. More so when you have to care, teach and guide them towards a life that suits them best. Millions of parents makes it all the time, some with a great effort, some without a thought. So, what is really good children's upbringing? Is the discipline, moral education, freedom to let your child be what he is? Or is it something more subtle, something that goes under the name of life `s experiences?

But it may be a good thing to remember that no matter how eager or ambitious we are shaping our children `s life, there is a limit to what we can do. Swami Vivekananda, founder of the Ramakrishna Mission, uses analogy of growing a plant to drive home point:

"You can not make a plant grow in soil unfit for it. A child teaches itself. But you can help it to proceed in its own way. What you can do is not of the positive nature, but the negative . You can take away the obstacles, but knowledge comes out of his own nature. Loosen the soil a little, so it can get out easily. Put a hedge around it, see that it is not killed by anything, and there your work stops. You can not do anything else. The rest is a manifestation from within its own nature. "

"You can not make a plant grow in soil unfit for it. A child teaches itself. But you can help it to proceed in its own way. What you can do is not of the positive nature, but the negative . You can take away the obstacles, but knowledge comes out of his own nature. Loosen the soil a little, so it can get out easily. Put a hedge around it, see that it is not killed by anything, and there your work stops. You can not do anything else. The rest is a manifestation from within its own nature. "

Childrearing

• Teach the values of honesty, integrity, patience and self-control gradually and steadily, it is also by your own example.

• Praise them openly and often rebuked in secret and rarely; reprimand bad behavior, not your children.

• Teach them self-esteem and self confidence (something they `ll wear for the rest of their lives).

• Limit television and recreation time. Keep an eye on your children `s activity.

• Try to keep alcohol and drugs away from the house, or keep them in moderate quantities.

• Maintain a happy and loving home environment.

• Give a lot of your time with your children, both quality and quantity.

• Low humor and laughter a part of your relationship with children.

• Allow children to grow and learn through the mistakes they make.

• Hug and show feelings of love whenever possible.

• Communicate gently but clearly.

PAPA of tiny FEET

• In an age of nuclear families where wives also contribute to the family kitty, it is imperative that fathers also share responsibility for the upbringing of a child. Don `t see time with your child as a chord. It is an integral part of your life that will help to strengthen parent-child bond.

• The keynote of approaching fatherhood is to relax. A baby is responsive to the parent `s feelings. If you are anxious, so the child will be.

• A baby often makes demands on his mother at the most outrageous times and left her exhausted. At this point you can encourage her by taking on some tasks, such as changing nappies or wake up at night to look after the necessary chores.

• It may seem difficult to change your lifestyle that the child `s presence would inevitably demand. You may have to say goodbye to indulgent hobbies that you have developed through the years, the party that used to be fun. But if you allow yourself to become involved in the process of your child `s nursery building blocks with him, doing jigsaws and reading picture books, you will experience a new joy as you see the wonder of life unfold through her eyes.

OLD W / S NEW

Current medical wisdom about rearing children, maintaining some traditional Indian practices and reject others:

• Avoid pre-lacteal feeds like honey water, glucose or formula.

• talc powder serve no purpose and can be avoided. Soap, if used at all should be mild.

• If your religion your child to be circumcised, circumcision postpone until a later date and make sure that it is performed by a qualified surgeon.

-Dr Promilla Butani in Parenting

• Don `t give the child some water or juice until he starts on solid foods.

• Avoid using Kohl in baby `s eyes.

• Take a disorder, even a minor fever, serious in a newborn

• Avoid putting ear or nose rings

• Use cotton clothes and diapers.

• After feeding, burp the baby. Don `t let the child lie down face up immediately after feeding.

• Don `t try tricks such as stocking your baby` s thumb with chilli ridding it of thumb-sucking habit. There are psychological problems that should be handled by one pediatrician.

-Dr Dwarkadas Motiwala

Siblings:

We alternately loves them and hates them, but one thing `s for sure-what would we do without them? Our companions for life, our competitors, our confidantes, our competitors, our comrades-in-arms against the whole crazy world, what would we do without them? No other bond in the world can beat siblings to share such a unique and complicated love-hate relationship!

The true value of having had siblings and / or sisters around, while we grew up never strikes us until we are far past our childhood. The main lesson we learn at this point in our lives is how to get along with others than ourselves. It was also when we learned to develop social values such as cooperation, honesty, kindness and tolerance.

Learning as important social skills usually takes a lot of time, but they are drinking a lot faster while living with brothers and sisters. Children with siblings learn to share and resolve conflicts easily. And with the right kind of guidance from parents, siblings also get a lot of practice to learn to be cooperative, supportive and caring towards others.

In other words, we probably turned out much better because we had that bullying older brother or annoying younger sister__it prepared us for all the important relationships we encounter later in life.

Tips for Managing combative Siblings

• Let siblings express their feelings.

• Try to speak only about the unpleasant behavior and avoid telling a child to a sibling is better at something.

• Try to give each sibling after his / her individual needs.

• Don `t take sides in sibling fights. Try instead to let the children work out differences on their own.

• It takes time and perseverance you to learn new ways to treat your children and for them to learn new ways to come together. • Don `t give up.

FRIENDS:

A friend is someone who goes in when the whole world goes out. Our friends are shares that we earn in life. We continue to reap benefits from them throughout our lives. But today, when many of us have shoulders to lean on outside our immediate kinship? In a highly competitive and results-oriented world, we seem to be drifting away from each other all the time. This is not to say that the world is short of amiable individuals, but rather that we have forgotten the art of maintaining positive camaraderie. In a mad rush to keep pace with the rapidly changing pace of urban living, we fail to care for the basic bond of love and warmth that binds us all together.