How To Mentor A Man To Be A Good Husband

The pressure in today's society to be ahead of the game at work and play-leaves little room to build or maintain a good marriage. Actually, the rumor that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Regardless of the number, a quick look at a divorce court docket will make you wonder if getting married is even worth. But I'm here to tell you that, yes, yes, marriage is worth, with the right person.

The problem is not getting married, the problem lies in staying together through difficult times, through times when you are tired or bored of your spouse, or when you hit a personal crisis that you do not know how to share with your significant other .

It is my humble opinion that the divorce will not decline until women with good marriages, step up and mentor husbands with struggling marriages. It is not enough for women to be mentors, men need it too.

If you are a man with a good marriage, and you can see a marriage that is harmful, step out of your comfort zone and give a helping hand. All it takes is fifteen minutes a day, one hour per week or one day a month for a specified period.

1st Develop a plan

The key to manage and care for another man, is to make a plan and stick to it. You do not have to be on guard 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but you need to be available. You must let your mentoree know that you will hold him responsible for both his words and his actions.

2nd Be a role model

When mentoring other men, it is important to "walk" and "talk the talk". In other words, you must live by example. If you tell another man that it is important to treat his wife with respect, then you must also treat your wife with respect. That means talking a lot to her in front of others to avoid negative talk about the things that carries you crazy, choose to take the garbage, even when you arrived home late from work and would rather plop down in front of the TV to relax, and taking the time to romance your wife, even when the budget is tight.

Your mentoree have to see where good marriages work first hand to learn how to do it properly themselves. If he sees your wife respect you because of how you treat her as he will be more inclined to follow suit.

3rd Share personal experiences

Your mentoree needs you need to show him that you understand how difficult marriage can be and how much work it can be. But he also needs you to show him how wonderful it can be.

Go ahead and show him that you've been there and you know who you are talking. Share lessons you've learned throughout your marriage without giving away too much personal information. Give personal accounts, but does so without breaking trust your wife.

Share generalizations when you have fought over something trivial when you went through personal hardships when your marriage struggling to succeed. Then tell how your marriage has blossomed: share the things you have done to improve your marriage and the things your spouse did. Remember that lessons do not always have to come in the form of a negative.

4th Active Listening

Teach your mentoree how to listen to his wife and show genuine interest in the things she says, although he may have absolutely no interest in that particular topic. Show your mentoree how to be a good listener by actively listening to him. Show him that being an active listener is about to join the conversation, turn off or put away distractions and keep his eyes directed at the other person.

5th Promoting Change

Be honest and genuine with your mentoree. If you find that a different way to handle a situation or talking to a spouse can lead to better results, encourage your mentoree to try a new approach.

Do not let him get stuck in "that's the way I've always been" or "that's the way my father was" or "it's just how society is" excuse trap. Show him how his excuses are actually hurting the marriage and how to make difficult or time consuming changes can actually improve marriage.