8 Ways to Survive (and Maybe Even Enjoy) a Family Holiday with a Child with Autism

The work was tedious. The walls of your home seem to close in. You need a vacation. But the idea of traveling with your children, especially your child with autism is less than appealing.

Families must have vacation: time to escape the ordinary chores, schedules and routines of home and family. Holidays mean a chance to break out of routine, a change of pace, new setting, different food, people and activities, not just autism friendly! Traveling with children is always more challenging, but planning a vacation with a child with autism may seem downright scary.

There are ways to alleviate some of the stress and create a comfortable haven for every member of the family. Some simple guidelines and smart planning will make a big difference!

Start small

Children with autism perform best with learning in small steps. If your child has never had time away from home it is wise to take a "mini-vacation" for a few hours, building up to a full day, and shortly after that a night away. The more familiar a child is with a new activity, less anxiety, they will experience. A few hours spent in an activity close to home, similar to what you intend to do on holiday, will be worth the time and energy. You can choose to visit the local museum, a nearby beach, a shopping mall or spend some time on a boat. The closer the "mini-vacation" matches the real thing, the better. The more practice a child with an activity (given the right strategies), the more they will be able to regulate emotions and enjoy the experience.

Take time to preview

Our anxiety levels typically rise when we have no idea what to expect about an upcoming event. Many people have a difficult time with "unknown". This is especially true for children with autism! As adults, we can choose to browse a travel guide, reading scales and see photo galleries of the places where we plan to visit to see where we are going and what we can expect. Our children living with autism will benefit from these activities. Surf the Internet, browse the travel brochures and maybe even visit a bookstore and / or library to allow your child to read about a specific place that you plan to visit. There is a plethora of books about traveling on a plane to visit grandparents, ocean life or life in big cities. Whatever you decide to do with your family, read about it is a great way to put your kids on the idea.

Do not leave home without the visual

Visual support is an absolute necessity when traveling with children who have autism ... even if you're away from home for a day! Pictures, calendars, cards, brochures and photos give people with autism an invaluable gift of predictability and order. Holidays can be filled with distractions, changes in plans, new events and unknown people. The potential for meltdown is high when family members are tired, routines are turned off, and feelings and expectations are on overload and. Visual support can serve as an anxiety reduction gear and a great relief.

People with autism have a sense of calm from the predictability and confidence. When planning a trip, highlighting the route on a map, and if you know where you plan to stop, mark those spots on the map. Maps are often appealing to children with autism and provides a visual tool that a child can hold and manipulate as they travel. For children who can read, please consider making a list of some of the cities where you will travel. Children can check them out when they move or just use them as reference when they want to know where they are. Maps and tour routes are useful tools to reduce anxiety because they provide a concrete reference point and predictability. Route changes can happen quickly on the map or just written on a piece of paper.

Do not know how the day will be filled and what will happen next is disheartening to people living with autism (and many non-autistic)! Many of us are dependent on electronic gadgets or day planners to keep us feeling informed, calm and in control. When you plan your family trip, bring a calendar or a day planner of some sort. Attach a strip of Velcro every day of the trip and take pictures of activities or places associated with each day. Photographs will brochure cut-outs, or homemade pictures work. If the child is able to read, write on the calendar gives our children the opportunity to see what is coming, and to organize the time in their minds. The Velcro allows us the flexibility to change plans if necessary. It also shows our children that the events are not always solid; plans change. The key is to teach the child to refer to the calendar when they feel unsafe. Reward them when they do. The alternative is to listen to a constant barrage of questions.

Plan time rather

Choose a few favorite activities rather than trying to cram everything today. A trip to Disneyland can be a sensory nightmare for a child with autism. Reducing the amount of activity done in a day will go to great lengths to make the trip more enjoyable for the whole family. Do you really have to visit all the theme parks? Is it necessary to act in the mall? You must participate in all resort activities? Your child with autism may not be able to manage the sensory, emotional and social stimulation that typical children are more able to cope.

Holidays by nature, tend to be very social, unpredictable and novel. Children with autism need "downtime" from the hustle uncertainty on holidays. This may mean giving him the opportunity to participate in a favorite activity for a portion of the time, whatever activity he really enjoys doing, which helps him to relax. It may mean that the child spins, jumps, spins a sensory toys or just sitting in a chair. Watching history channel, while the family is down on the beach may be just what the teen with autism need. The activity is driven child and NOT the parent drive. Using a timer or clock visual helps to set parameters around activity. Using cell phones or walkie-talkies allow parents and children to communicate when they are not in direct contact.

Level of unstructured time

Children with autism may not be able to generate ideas on how to enjoy themselves and parents should not be entertainment directors. Some simple tools will make unstructured times like traveling and waiting for flights much more bearable. Start with a written or picture menu with all available elements to play with. Be sure to show only the choices available! Fidget toys, digital toys, magnetic travel games, iPods, handheld games, a whiteboard with markers and magnetic puzzle is invaluable when down time is not negotiable. "Wait" cards and "accessibility map" is invaluable when we need to let a child know that an activity or item is either delayed or unavailable. These cards must be part of the child's daily life before the holidays, so they are acceptable for the child during the holidays. Packing a bag containing all the activities and be sure to have it handy when the waiting begins. Using a timer or a schedule helps the child know how long the activity will last.

Social skills and practice expectations

As adults, we may find ourselves believing that a child knows how to act in different situations. Children with autism have no idea what is expected in a particular setting, and there is a good chance that they can not be worried about what is expected! Various options have unspoken agreements to maintain a sense of order. When you visit museums, churches, galleries, public parks, zoos and amusement parks, think about the hidden rules that typically people just instinctively "know." Avoid embarrassment and frustration by reviewing the "social rules" ahead of schedule; keep them short and sweet. Ask the child to repeat them back to you and be aware of a reward or reinforcement for compliance with the Conventions.

A social script can quickly be written on paper or a blackboard, before the child is expected to participate in an unfamiliar social situation.

For example, the rules to hang out on the beach have been written as a social script, and every time a child goes to the beach:

People like to play on the beach, and some people like to lie down on the beach.

We are careful not to kick sand in people when we walk in the sand.

We can put our towels next to each other in the family.

We can put our towels 1 or 2 big steps away from a person we do not know.

When we lift our towels, we are careful not to shake the sand on other people.

The beach is fun.

Choose to have fun

The most important element to ensure that you carry on a holiday, the expectation is to enjoy it. Our thoughts control much of what we experience, so it is worthwhile to confirm in your mind that this time away will be fun. Remind yourself to really see your kids as they experience new things, smile, breathe deeply and laugh often. Where plans did not quite work remind yourself that "it is what it is," and your reaction to a situation that is really what determines the outcome. Choose to be happy and positive and your mood will probably spill over into the rest of your family.

Plopping your children in a car, driving in six hours and tell them to stop whining is not likely to result in a fantastic holiday! Planning will play a major role in creating a holiday that is full of fun. There are small things that we take for granted on trips that we must be aware so we can create a good holiday. You need it. Your family needs it. Go ahead and have fun!