No one writes on their internet dating profile, they are looking for a cheat. But everyone makes mistakes at one time or another - sometimes a lot of them - and since 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their significant others at a time, your chances of dating a person with a history of cheating is higher than you might think.
We've all heard that people who have cheated, are much more likely to cheat again. When the team "once cheater always a cheater" plays over and over again in your head, it can be difficult to know how to move forward in a relationship with a past cheater.
Gather information. No one mentions their cheating history, when they encounter a person on an internet dating site. But ultimately, the truth to come out. When you find someone you are dating is a story about cheating, the first thing you need to do is gather as much information as possible. How many times has he or she is cheating, and with what sort of person? What was the situation in the relationship at the time? It may interfere to put a lot of questions, but if you plan to go further, you have a right to know - things can affect your relationship in the future.
Go with your eyes open. If a person you are dating has cheated, you can not ignore the fact.Understand that he or she has spotted a story when it comes to faithfulness, and that there is a risk that the problem occurs again. Decides to move forward, not forward blindly.
Recognize risk, but live free. Once you've recognized that there is a risk to your boyfriend or girlfriend will repeat his or her behavior in your relationship, it is important to move forward. Try to find a balance between being vigilant and attentive, and being paranoid. If you have decided to pursue a relationship, you can not let your doubts about your partner's fidelity get in their way. If you let doubt and paranoia take over, you do not start your relationship off on a very stable foothold, and there is a good chance that it will only fall apart. You have to allow yourself to trust.
Determine your limits. Since cheating has already been a problem in your relationship, it is a good idea to spend some time setting your definition of cheating. What is cheating, is different from person to person. For some, something that is not a sexual act is acceptable. For others, there are still too close friendship with someone of the opposite sex a form of cheating. Know what will trigger the warning lights and what not, will help you keep your question under control, while maintaining a high awareness.
Evaluate your partner's state of mind. One of the biggest things that will determine whether a person will cheat again, his or her perception of what happened. Have your partner take responsibility for their actions and recognize that they are to blame? If your partner makes a lot of excuses for why they did what they did - if he or she blames others and is willing to accept mistakes - there's a good chance that they do not learn anything ... and can fall back on that misbehavior.
Ask whether your partner has changed. You can never be sure that the things that led your partner to cheat, will not repeat it. But you can ask your partner - and yourself - if they seem to have learned from experience. If your partner is honest in a different place in his or her life, you should probably give them the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes in our lives, but hopefully we can learn from them. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has learned from their mistakes and grown as a person, their chances of repeating them is that much less.
No comments:
Post a Comment