Fear of intimacy is the opposite of the close relationship you have with your best friend when you were little. You may be lucky to have a best friend now, but the depth and scope of these children's friendships can seem invincible, because you share all your secrets. Fear of intimacy - to hide behind walls and emotional barriers - is generally not a problem. Overcoming fear of intimacy and anxiety was not even on the radar screen.
Fear of intimacy is definitely a big problem.
Fear of intimacy involves the refusal to open up and reveal your true self, perhaps because you have been injured in the past. Or, if you grew up in an emotionally and socially closed environment and never learned to be vulnerable to friends or boyfriends, you may have trouble opening now. It is the fear of intimacy. We've all been betrayed and hurt by their loved ones in ways large and small - one thousand little deception. Whatever pain was caused accidentally or deliberately, we are naturally reluctant to open up again. Unwilling to do evil can lead to extreme fear of intimacy.
Personality characteristics such as introversion and extra version can also contribute to fear of intimacy issues, and so can depression and anxiety.
Fear of intimacy is different than the fear of commitment. You can get married and do not know your partner emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Indeed, loneliness in marriage is harder than being alone as a single or widowed. Solitude marital stems from fear of intimacy in one or both parties.
The strongest foundation for a close partnership with him is a good friendship. Whether you are friends or lovers (or both), there are three elements of a strong and healthy: authenticity, communication and honesty. These three elements can reduce the fear of intimacy.
Three elements that reduce the fear of intimacy:
Authenticity: your feelings match your words and actions. If you feel angry or betrayed, you put words and behavior (remember that 90% of communication is nonverbal, which means that even if you do not talk about your feelings, your actions will probably reveal). Try phrases like "I'm sad because I hope to see you" or "I am angry and frustrated because I expected you to take out the garbage, and now the garbage truck will not be back for another week." Instead of hiding behind the fear of intimacy, to go out and prove himself. You will feel vulnerable and afraid - there is no work around it!
Communications: The mutual self-communication occurs when the two of you share personal experiences and everyday life. You open the same level: for example, both you discuss experiences of being betrayed in the past - or any of you to share. You experience the same level in terms of quantity and type of personal experiences and thoughts as you uncover. If Auto-way communication is not, then you are in an asymmetrical relationship. A partner, who opened their hearts, while the other is hidden. It is the fear of intimacy that can be reduced simply by speaking.
Honesty: You are talking about what happens in your life where you really feel and what you really think. You reveal what is important to you, which creates trust in your relationship. You do not play games, expect your partner to read your mind or make notes, instead of saying what you really want. You can still have a fear of intimacy, but you're honest.
Fear of intimacy long celebrations, the worse it becomes - and it is difficult to overcome. It's time to face your fears of intimacy and includes a larger and deeper life!
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