Helping Parents to Become Allies in the Education Process

Arborland Montessori Children's Academy, Fullerton, CA

It is a well known fact that positive and enthusiastic parental support is crucial for the successful education of the child. The school can provide the best environment, the latest materials and the finest team of teachers, and still not achieve the goal of education without the full confidence and support from parents. This does not mean that we expect parents to actively help with instructions. This means that we as teachers need to win the complete trust and confidence of the parent as the child is presented with a common front. Parental Controls confidence in the school is such an important tool and plays a large role in education, it would be time well spent to discuss how we can achieve this confidence.

It appears that confidence comes only when a teacher has proven itself and has a track record. But it is not always quite right. There are several ways in which trust can be started very quickly, and the purpose of this article is to explore different perceptions of how this can be achieved. If everyone plays an active role and make a constructive contribution, you must have managed to achieve and maintain a good trusting relationship with the parent very soon in the school year.

Tips / Ideas:

1. Right from day one to make a personal contact. Do not let the parent be intimidated by you, be friendly and empathic. Empathy means not being friendly, it means remaining professional, but to the parent, you will always be an ally and try to feel what they feel about their child see and understand their viewpoint, even if you do not fully agree with it.

2. Not be intimidated by the parent, no matter what demanding or unrealistic expectations they have for you. Always show up prepared, not necessarily giving in to any demands, but seem willing. This is a strong positive feature and will help to bring a difficult parent guard down and you will have sown the seeds of confidence.

3. Never ever get defensive if a parent brings a complaint to you even if the parents are wrong and you're right. Maintain your viewpoint, but a facilitator, that yes, you can understand theirs. Do not feel you have to be shown on the right and win every battle. You do not win the little games you need to win the war! (The war is to obtain parents' confidence so they give you and your school to educate their child.)

Examples:

Parent complaint ---- The work that you give is too easy. (Parents are only one or two children. Many of them keep very close eye on their children and know their child well.)

Wrong answer --- Your child can not do all the necessary steps he had to stay on what you think is easy until we are ready to move him / her. Or --- here it is difficult work, see if he / she can do it with you! (Do not create a fight!)

Correct answers ---- thanks for bringing this to our knowledge, we encourage him / her to see if more challenging work is possible. (Let the child continue what you, the teacher considers to be done, and just throw some hard work occasionally, do not worry if they do not get it right, so long as you keep track of where the child needs to be, he will catch up to where the parent wants him to be in the end) (You have to gain the confidence to win the war.)

When parents see you are willing to see their viewpoint, they'll leave you to get on with your work and be positive about your work in front of the child.

4. If you need to take strong disciplinary action with a child, be sure to get your side of the story to the parent before the child is doing and doing it in a loving, gentle sort of way. Never let the child see that he / she made you mad, never lose your temper. Always show love and care, even if you have to discipline the child. Showing love does not mean you give in or be all soft and a pushover. This means that the company in a kind of respectful manner. To get this message always try to send the child home happy at the end of each day, regardless of strong disciplinary action was taken. Do not hold grudges or carry it over to the next day.

5. Always let the parents see you are on their side, whatever the problem. Create the impression that you are there to provide and assist the unit with them. Never give the impression that "I do not know what else we can do to help your child". Whatever the challenge represents a bond with the parent, a bond to help in a partnership. Their attitude should be, "Let us see what we can do together"

6. Communicate, communicate and communicate! You do not need to be their buddy or friend. Be welcoming and friendly but also to be a professional. You might think all this constant communication will be very time consuming, but in reality it might set you free to perform your job with fewer complaints, and interference from overprotective parents. Find your own way of quick communication when there is a need to do it. The parent will get used to this, and as trust develops, there will be less need to do it. A common mean of communication via e-mail and could take more than 20 to 30 minutes a day. Whatever works for you is acceptable. Lack of communication is not acceptable and will prevent you from your goal, as is the overall success of the education of the child while creating a report with the parents.

7. If you feel that parents are unfair, pick fault, or too demanding, do not let your ego get in the way. Keep calm, the parent becomes subjective, you must be objective and put your ego to one side at all times.

8. Two major obstacles to cultivate a trusting relationship ---- a big ego and lack of patience. Lose your ego, to fill the empty space with buckets of patience! Sometimes it can prove that the parent is making a personal attack. This is usually not the case and as soon as you let your ego go and appear willing, their frustration usually disappear immediately, and typically they will work with you and not against you.

The above points work for me, and I developed my style over time. Each of you need to keep those points in mind and develop your own special style, you have this option. You do not have the opportunity to be close minded, do not include parent or alienate them. Without the full confidence of parents, we will be fighting a losing battle, and waste valuable time with unnecessary explanations of our actions. It is wiser to invest time in the early years to get the parent who your enthusiastic teammate, rather than having them as annoying critics throughout the years! Most of you are parents and should easily be able to empathize with all the hopes, fears and insecurities that come with parenthood throughout life, and especially when you send your most precious cargo into the unknown realms a school filled with other people will have control over them for the largest part of each day.